Ms. Monoid Writes...

Hello, Ms. Monoid here. (Not "Mrs Monoid" you will note, that's a whole other load of bitterness best left until another day).

Monoid One is too lazy to write his blog this week, muttering something about being tired after doing all the housework on his own tonight. So I'm taking a break from my own blog (all about wool and vegetables! check me out!) to come here.

And I can't say I'm impressed. Doctor-Fucking-Who and hats. I ask you.

Now that I'm here, I thought I'd write a few words about our night out together in Hull, seeing one of Monoid One's favourite comedians. Personally, I think he's rubbish, and Monoid One was very reluctant to buy tickets for both us when I insisted, as he remembered what I did the last time we saw this particular excuse for a funny-man together. (He never learns!)

Anyway, despite being reminded on numerous instances as the date approached, I feigned female deafness and left organising the childcare until the last minute, just for a laugh. I think Monoid One was secretly quite pleased when I said I was backing out, but I did my usual trick of changing my mind yet again and he ended up having to pay the babysitter's monthly account in addition to the night in question. (Result!)

Ignoring advice to grab somthing to eat before we left home, I arrived in Hull starving. I knew Monoid One wouldn't want to miss the start of the show, so I chose this moment to want a McDonalds. I know full well that Monoid One generally avoids McDonalds like the plague, so even when he offered to buy me one I thought it would be a laugh to storm off in a huff.

Why did I do that? Well, because I'm a woman and I can.

We managed to grab a drink before sitting down, and the quality of the wine was my next complaint. However, I managed to control my wrath until the comedian was actually walking out on stage. I chose this moment to whisper loudly in Monoid One's now jaded ear that I didn't know what I was doing here and didn't know why he had wanted me to come. (Thought I'd get it in at the start this time... I waited until halfway through the second half last time!).

Anyway, that was the point when Monoid One's evening was really starting to fall apart. (I could almost hear him grinding his teeth all the way through! Hilarious!). Despite myself, I had quite a good laugh. Not enough jokes about willies for my taste, but there you go.

Afterwards on the way back to retrieve my phone from the car, Monoid One starts talking about where to go for food, but I just decide to blank him and we were soon home, grumpy and hungry. My child was out for the night, so I took the opportunity to sleep in her bed and audibly cry myself to sleep.

That'll teach him!

I doubt I'll get away with anything like this again. It's a shame though, as sabotaging nights out were getting to be my speciality. If we had gone for a meal, I would have repeated the trusty pick-a-fight-just-before-the-food-arrives gambit. (That really pisses them off!).

Why do I do that? Well, because I'm a woman and I can.

Anyway, that's enough of me. I'll let you all get back to talking about hats and Battlestar Galactica or whatever it is Monoid One likes. What do I care? After all this time I still don't know who his favourite authors are!

Bye, geeky boys!