Publicity Shots From Hell No.120

Valentine's Day is one of those relationship danger spots for me. (Birthdays, Bank Holidays and weekends are pretty high on the list, too).

 

Having lived with a female for some considerable time, I've learnt to take nothing that is said to me purely at face value. In fact, I'm sure that when confronted with the phrase "Let's not bother about it", a lot of men would have some sort of contingency plan in place for when the exact opposite proves to be the case.

 

(I painfully learned this lesson one year when "Don't bother about my birthday" was the stated plan. And having foolishly taken that utterance literally, I recall at one point deeming it necessary to hide out in the shed for a while, wishing that I could lock it from the inside...)

 

 

Once upon a time, I would have been delighted to receive a Valentine kiss from the lovely Kirstie Alley. But if the rage of a left-wing agnostic liberal can drive a man to cower in his toolshed for an hour, imagine the wrath of a right-wing Scientologist scorned.

 

No wonder Leonard Nimoy looks worried...

Publicity Shots from Hell No.68 - Valentine Special

Usually I emerge from the annual irksome charade that is Valentine's Day a tired and disheartened man, having had to sidestep and obfuscate topics of marriage without causing undue misery and chaos.

 

Not so this year, but that might have something to do with the fact that today I spent almost two months salary on a foreign holiday I have no particular interest in embarking on.

 

(Fuerteventura, incidentally. Next door to Lanzarote, which would obviously have been a more attractive option for myself. I feel a day trip will be necessary. It is the will of Logar).

 

Anyway, adopting the day's romantic theme is a true publicity shot from hell, and an example of JN-T at his exploitative worst. Especially when you consider what happened to the rather short-lived marriage that followed...

 

All You Need Is Love Was Not True

I suppose with a title like that, you feared I was going to painstakingly chronicle another round of domestic misfortunes in which I was obviously the innocent party?

Well, no.

Or perhaps you expected a similarly biting attack on the tediously manipulative convention that is St Valentine's Day?

Not today.

No, I just like to raise a smile when I think of the debut single by Japanese noise-rock exponents Xinlisupreme, and the wisdom of its message especially on a day such as this.

Just saying, is all...